That’s right: The hyper-hyped Grand Theft Auto sequel is parking its hot (as in jacked) wheels on Xbox this June. Rockstar refuses to give us the VIN number, let alone details on any additional, not-on-PS2 goodies the game might include, so we’ve come up with our own wish list.
From the bewildering cloverleaf interchanges to the confusing back alleys, San Andreas is a regular Bermuda Triangle. Maybe we’re supposed to feel like we’re stopped at the corner of Skid Row and Mean Street, thumbing through a Thomas Bros. Guide for directions, but we’d prefer an easier-to-read map, or even better, a GPS system to stick in our ride. They had those in the ’90s, right?
Bouncing back
You relieve a crackhead of his crack money, erase your rivals’ colors from the gangland rainbow, torch an herb farmer’s ses crop, and before you can get into the Pay ’N’ Spray and give the popos the slip—kablooie! You’re dead and doing it all over again. When it comes to San Andreas’ multipart missions, we want a save-anywhere feature, even if it means sacrificing half of our console’s hard drive space.
Hood hounds
Main man Carl “CJ” Johnson may have helicopters, hoopties, and hoochie mamas, but he hasn’t got it all, at least not without homey’s best friend. Yep—pit bull, Rottweiler, Doberman, whatever—our boy needs himself a hood hound.
Scarce hair
The world’s a big place and science can’t make sense of it all (lab-coat types are still trying to explain how a baldheaded CJ can walk into a barbershop and come out with a Jackson Five–era afro), so why not let a Bigfoot stalk the state (the one that PS2 players only think they saw)? Eagle-eyed trackers could take pics, then swap shots of the elusive Sasquatch where all the good truth-is-out-there stuff goes down: the Internet.
Sanitizing switch
Ever try convincing your sweet ol’ grandma that Vice City was getting a bad rap, only to have her walk in one hour later as you clubbed a geriatric for his social security/slot machine money? A no-swearing, no-killing-pedestrians-or-prostitutes game mode would’ve saved the day then, and it’ll most certainly save the day now.
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